In How to quit your job—and stay friends we looked at how to resign without harming your future career prospects.

Some resignations are messy, particularly if your existing employer decides to make a counter offer when you quit.

While these offers look tempting, nine times out of ten you shouldn’t even consider the counter-proposal. You’ve made a decision to quit. Just go.

Despite this, there are some circumstances when you should consider a counter offer. For example:

1. The Leapfrog
   When your career is still at an early stage and you quit to take a higher-level job elsewhere, it's worth staying put if a counter offer involves a promotion that sees you leapfrog the external position. Although many of the negatives—see below—about staying put probably still apply, career advancement is more important at this stage.
2. Changed Circumstances
   You quit because the terms of employment change making it impossible for you to stay, but the terms change again. For example, your employer plans to move your function to a distant city. If, after you resign, your employer cancels the move, then staying makes sense.

Of course there are other special cases. However, as a rule, an offer involving more money or a promise to correct behaviour or some other problem is not a good enough reason to stay.

Here are six reasons why you’ll be better off moving:

• The Closing Door
  Failing to go through with a move could mean you won’t get another chance for some time. At least not from the spurned employer. And remember, employers talk to each other—your actions might have wider repercussions.

• Motivation
  Something moved you to quit. Whatever it was, it must have been important. A counter offer might address all the things that bug you about your current job—possible but unlikely.

• Boss Panic
  If you’re a key employee, your manager probably went into crises mode when your resignation arrived. While the panic persists he or she would be willing to make promises he or she can't deliver. Consciously or not, that person will say whatever it takes to keep you. The backtracking will almost certainly start within days of your agreeing to stay.

• Funny Money
  Any promised salary increases made as a counter offer are likely to be at the expense of your next scheduled increase. Employers lift employee salaries at these moments only to bypass that employee in the next salary review. When the review comes they’ll remind you of that big hike—but sidestep the reasons for giving it to you.

• Leverage
  Agreeing to stay weakens your future negotiating position. Your employer knows you blinked first last time. He or she knows they’ve got you where they want you and how to keep you under control.

• Self-esteem
  A financial counter offer is an insult. If you were only worth $x a year yesterday, how come you’re suddenly worth $x+y today? Obviously these guys have underpaid you in the past. What’s to say they won’t do so again? If you stay, they’ll figure you lack self-respect and treat you so.

No matter how bad things have been, when you quit a job, you should part on good terms.

Australians and New Zealanders are bad at making a clean break—we’re too blunt and our work culture doesn't help.

On the other hand, keeping perspective when you’re handed a plastic sack and given 30 minutes to empty your desk isn't easy. Fortunately this response to a resignation is rare.

Parting on good terms is also difficult if you quit your job because of workplace problems—maybe the colleague from hell or a tyrannical boss. Even so, you must resist the temptation to even the score.

There are three justifications for making a clean break:

• Things change. A difficult boss will eventually move on, the company might reconsider its pay policy or a spanking new espresso machine might replace the grungy instant coffee. Either way, it doesn’t do to burn your boats. You might want to work at this place again—one day.

• Even if you are prepared to burn your boats with an employer, think of your reputation. Reports of bad behaviour during your notice period will spread through your industry. Bosses talk to each other more than you think. So do colleagues. Bad behaviour at this stage can undo all the hard work you put into establishing your professional reputation.

• A messy split is no way to start the next stage of your life. I’m not talking about bad karma, this is more practical. As you wrap up one stage of your life, you should make a positive preparation for the next. Allowing your bitterness or anger to boil over means you lose focus.

Here are six things you should do before starting a new job.

1. Tell your existing employer you are leaving. Do this as quickly and as professionally as possible. Don’t make a big production number. Personally I prefer to do this verbally, face-to-face. If that bothers you, write a short letter – not an email.

2. Tell your existing employer why you are going. Focus on the positives – even if there are negatives. For example, say your new workplace has wonderful coffee and not whinge about the powdered Nescafe.

3. Wrap up loose ends. If you can finish projects do so. Try to ease the transition for whoever is going to fill your shoes—you never know, that person could be your boss one day.

4. Work out your notice honestly. Don’t start late and leave early or skive off to the pub. Work normal hours—of course no-one will expect you to work around the clock now you are on your way.

5. Remember to thank people for the good times – there must be some. Be positive but sincere. Colleagues will remember your parting words longer than all the thousands of words spoken while working together.

6. Close on a high note. Singers leave the best songs for their encore – try to do the same.