There’s a danger of the day getting off to a rough start when you get a press release like this:

HP and VMware, Inc. today announced plans to collaborate to deliver the industry’s first federated network solution. This solution is designed to provide customers unified automation of, and visibility into, their physical and virtual data centre networks, enabling business agility and improving business continuity.

What could this possibly mean?

The company formerly known as Hewlett-Packard has done something with VMware. It has done something to do with data centre networks and going by the last six words it could be good or it could just be the HP public relations team reached into the “important-sounding, but meaningless” cliché box.

It goes on a bit like the example above. Wading through the stodge, I get the impression there’s a software-defined network in there somewhere. I could insult my reader’s intelligence and regurgitate this nonsense.

My heart goes out to the poor downstream PR people who have to deal with this kind of rubbish coming from corporate HQ. The poor souls would have a heart attack if I rang to ask for clarification on the meaning of, say, “a unified network operations model that will radically simplify IT in the software-defined data centre.”

And HP wonders why nobody wants to buy its kit anymore…

3 thoughts on “This is what I have to put up with

  1. The odd thing is the bigger and more powerful HP becomes, the less it is able to articulate what it does. You’d think someone on the payroll would be capable of writing plain English.

    • It makes sense to me, in a bureaucratic way. More levels of management, more levels of obfuscation it goes through to look ‘professional’ as everyone has to have their input.

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